1960 I was 4 years old when I had my first experience. We were living in Shirley then. I was asleep in the back bedroom when a need to visit the toilet awoke me. I needed to go badly but I felt someone enter the room. You can feel the change in the air pressure when someone enters and leaves a room. I, unfortunately, was able to feel the mood of the person in the room, and they were angry. It was dark in the room, no light coming in through the back window as it was only gardens out there. I could make out nothing. No shape, no sound. Nothing. I was terrified. I lay curled up in a foetal position under the bedcovers, hiding my head and sobbing. I then heard the front door slam, a few seconds of silence, then the usual sounds of fighting from my parents following dad’s visit to a neighbouring pub. There was a rush of air in the bedroom, it rippled the bedcovers, and I sh*t myself. I was 4 years old, too scared to call out and desperate for the toilet. I am sorry, but it is what happened, and the best way I can describe the feeling of the moment. I lay there in my own mess, too afraid to move. Dad eventually came to bed, and then I was subjected to his anger. Mum saw how scared I was and said it was his fault I was in that state and he was made to clean me up. I was subjected to a bucket of cold water and an old wooden scrubbing brush, vigorously from head to foot while mum changed the bed. I never mentioned what had happened lest I was punished further. That never – ever happened again. I don’t think anything has ever frightened me as much as that night did.
Subject: My first time! 
Sun Aug 26, 2007 10:58 pm
